giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
