why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
