so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
