Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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