erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
