So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
