Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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