i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
