i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
