tell your sister to shave her snatch
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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