I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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