I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize