I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Your penis caused this!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
