Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
