put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize