ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
