Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize