yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
