I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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