Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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