Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
