im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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