If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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