I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just invented taco cereal.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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