Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
