I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
