Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
