So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
