I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
