Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
