But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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