I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
