We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
