Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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