About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
