I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My balls are so social today.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
