piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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