We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
