Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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