I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
