Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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