I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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