You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Where is the hickey?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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