Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize