so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He kissed a someone with a penis
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
