eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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