i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
