I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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