If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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