omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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