There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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