Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
