dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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