so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
