Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
