She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He did a backflip because drugs
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
