I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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