Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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