so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
