I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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