I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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