Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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