why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
